Lost Memories

Today my fren suddenly call me and inform me that they will come kampar.
I tot they juz kidding but they reli come to kampar.
At nite,i juz ring them goto utar celebrate mooncake festival.
After i come back from skul,i dunno y,i look like become another person.
I hopefully i get an accident and lost all my memories or i wan o sleep and lost all My memories on the next day.
Lost all my memories equal to my new life but this opportunity wont happen on me .
I nid this new life so i can forget all the thing,i can forget my sadness,my unhappy, and all my thing include my family.
This is not cruel,juz if i wan get the new life ,i muz pay out something,and that thing is my memories betwwen my family and me.
But if i got many time to make choice,i also will choose to lost all my memories,i wan i become more happy ,i dont wan live in the world juz hav me.
May be if i lost all my memories,all thing will start from zero,i nonid to face so many thing i dun wan to face it...
I so painful now..
Everyday,i wan to wear a mask ,it name as mask of happiness..
I nid to act nth happen around me,i am not actress,i not attending mask party and why should i wear the mask n act another person, like a stupid person..
Because too many thing happen around me recently,so it make me almost lost myself,i become another person,is that the result i wan before??
I always tell me self be positive,look forward and dont look back,all this thing juz a small matter and dun think much but i cant do it...
i make a decision,either i lost my memory or i giv up..
Finally is giv up,coz lost memories is not a thing that i can control,only giv up i can control...
I always sit alone and think alone,is that reli the final decision?
am i rite if i do like that?
Am i willing to giv up?of coz some answer is no but i believe my final decision i make,and i wont regret anymore..
I wan let it become part of my history ,let it become my past..starting from now,i wont regret ,i will respect my own decision and follow what i decide before..
Anything had past wont come back again ...